My Immortal
by animebum
Summary: Songfic of Kagome's feelings about Inuyasha and Kikyou's relationship and how she fits into his life. R&R plz. Sorry if it sucks; I felt like writing something sappy ^^;;


My Immortal  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha (sadly.. =) but someday i will!! haha) or the song by Evanescence  
  
She knew he did not love her back. She knew he loved another and she understood their joy. Knowning all this, she thought it was best to leave them alone, in order to relieve the heavy burden of loss in her heart. She was a fool. Kagome snorted in disgust. She was not one of those immature young idiots who fell too hard in love. No... she was not like them. No, no, no...  
Her head began to hurt and she bit her lip at the sudden pain. The ache in her head sang out and clucked at her for lying to herself. Harsh dull laughter streamed from her innocent lips, slashing at the peaceful atmosphere around her. Why was she sad? Naraku was defeated, Miroku's curse had been lifted, the shards have all been gathered, and everything for once was in sync. What right did she have to feel so pathetically?  
Because you love him and yet he dares to love another... A voice taunted in her head. You were nothing to him but a mere shard detector. Nothing but a mere shadow of Kikyou. Pitiful... if he chooses a dead maiden over you, what hope do you have in true love?  
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Kagome screamed inside her head. Clutching her slim legs closer to her body, she dropped her head onto her knees, her hair slowly closing her connection to the outside world. What was she to Inuyasha? And what was this fierce pain that screamed out in her very soul?  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
and if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
because your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Kagome wandered peacefully in the forest and was softly humming an old childhood song as she weaved her way in the tangled mess of branches, leaves and trees. Flowers bloomed in scattered patches as if it were wary of the other plants and wished to keep a close eye on them. The canopy of the trees blocked out any sunlight except for a few shimmer of light here and there, confusing one on how flowers could grow in such a poorly lit place. Kagome's face brightened. Her mind calculated the amount of flowers it took to do the task in mind and she snagged a good number before she plopped down on the soft mossy grass. "Heh heh...^^" Pouring her heart and energy into the simple flower chain, Kagome slitted her eyes and pursed her lips as she diligently worked. Why she was doing this, she had no clue. All she knew was that she was no longer worried about the remaining shards or Naraku. Her worry for now was this flower chain.  
Her ears picked up a small noise that was trying to conceal itself. She frowned. Was someone crying? She sighed; someone was going to pay dearly for interrupting her time of peace. Kagome giggled at herself because she knew that she could do no such thing. Picking herself up, Kagome gently tiptoed towards the direction of the sniffling and her eyes peeked into a clearing. "Eep!"  
His ears flattened at the unmistakenable voice and he growled. How in the gods did he not hear her approaching him? His lips curled into a distasteful smirk. "Wench. Don't you ever learn? STAY. AWAY. FROM. ME." He looked away from her, obviously in deep thought.  
At this, Kagome rolled her eyes. Oh yes, this was Inuyasha, no doubt. Before she could retort a bitter insult, she noticed with alarm at his red-rimmed eyes. "Is something wrong Inuyasha?" Kagome sat down next to him with concern in her eyes.  
The half-breed's eyes softened. "Feh..." He only muttered. He became startled when a slim hand slipped into his hands and he looked up into Kagome's friendly eyes.  
"As your friend, I'm always here for you." Kagome tied the flower chain around his wrist and smiled. He stared at her. It was a genuine smile, centered on him and only him. "Think of it as token of my friendship."  
In this rare moment of companionship, Inuyasha only closed his eyes once more and ignored the constricting pain in his chest. How could he tell this girl that his pain came from the one that looked like her? It didn't help that she was being so kind to him; he knew of her feelings. He growled but stopped in surprise when he felt Kagome softly rest her head on his shoulder.  
"Baka..." He muttered under his breath. Whether it was addressed to him or to her, he never knew.  
  
~End of Flashback~  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand throught all of these years  
but you still have all of me  
  
She was a fool to believe she was the only one that could break into his bitter exterior. Kagome felt blessed to feel so much love for one person at such a young age, but also cursed. Cursed because he only loved her look-alike. Kikyou. Strangely, the name didn't bring fierce jealousy or anger. It wasn't the other miko's fault that Inuyasha decided to choose Kikyou instead of Kagome. If it was anyone she should hate it was Inuyasha for the way he made her feel. She couldn't stop thinking about him and it was all his fault.  
  
you used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
But she didn't hate him. She loved him. Love. The word soared through her head and she chuckled without mirth. She was through with love and wondered why she even cared about him in the first place. Her head laughed at her obvious lying. Kagome always loved Inuyasha and even gave him a piece of her heart that could never be replaced. In turn, Inuyasha rejected her for Kikyou. Although Kagome gave her heart and soul, he still rejected her. He loved Kagome but only valued her as a friend and Kikyou as his soulmate. He would never be Kagome's and this sudden realization brought forth the long held-back tears. It's saltiness claimed her lips as the tears tore down from her eyes and continued to fall in despair. She was alone. Truly alone.  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand throught all of these years  
but you still have all of me  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
and though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
A/N: Ok, maybe i'm a little unrealistic with the characters' personalities here but bear with me!!! I never saw this anime in my life but had heard many good things about this and when i read all these amazing fanfictions, i couldn't resist! *runs away from angry mob* Did I mention this i my first song/fan fic? Be kind to my frail heart... =D And even though I never saw this anime, I can safely assume Kikyou's detached nature but I am sick and tired of reading dozens of fanfics about how evil she is. (no offense to those who do make those kind of fanfics; some of them are really good! I need variety though). Review plz!  
P.S: Is it just me or is there a lot, and I mean, A LOT, of songfics using this song? And here I thought I was being original... T_T 


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